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October 06. 1999 Dear Diary, What an excellent way to start off mt 13th
birthday, my dog got ran over by a car! To make it better it was my own mother
that did it. He was my only true friend, the only one that I really loved and
cared for, and now he is dead. I hate my over-weight, hard-ball of a mother! It
was her fault, all her fault! I don't blame her for not letting me have any
friends over, she to ashamed of herself! And, I hate to say this but I am
ashamed of her to. If people really knew what she was like, they would be
ashamed too. She knew the only real friend I ever had was my cute little dog
Marshall, and then she turns around and killed him! I HATE HER! I HATE HER!!!
How could she be so careless, how could have she not seen him, he isn't that
small. I don't know what I'm going to do without Marshall. How will I ever get
along.?? I'll certainly miss waking up every morning, and seeing him standing on
his hind legs at the foot of my bed, with his front paws braced against the
side, starring at me with his big brown eyes. I can remember that his stubby
tail would thump back and forth, and he lean his head over and lick my face and
neck, with his warm rough thong. Boy did I love that dog, I'm going to miss him
so much. I'll never find a friend quite like him, he is irreplaceable. Marshall
didn't care about the way that I looked, whether or not I was smart or stupid,
or even about the guys that I messed around with,( which is why my ape of a
father resents me.) He never once put me down like everyone else. He loved me,
and now he's gone, and it's all because of my mother!! I'm going to miss
Marshall, but I know that I will never see him again, thanks to my selfish
mother who let him run free while I was at school. She knew how much he loved to
chase car. He always did do it, ever since he was a little puppy. But of course
she didn't care. I'm never going to forgive her for this, NEVER!! Chrissie
October 08th 1999 Dear Diary, I no longer care what I do, my own father calls me
a sl**, so why shouldn't I live up to his accusations?? Just last night, I went
out and did exactly what he expected me to do. I'm sick of him calling me a sl**,
and everything else in the book, when I hardly even does anything. I hope that
he's happy now, that I gotten into drugs and I'm trying to drown out my problems
in booze, that should make him really proud. Oh, sometimes I wish that I was
dead, so all my problems go away, and I could be myself and next get lectured on
it. It not like anyone would care anyway.. Mom is too absorbed in her own
selfishness, and Dad, he's just off in his own little world. The both of them
don't even know that I'm alive, except when it come time to bi*** at me for
something that I did. Nobody cares for me except for a few idiots that only want
one thing sex! Sometimes I even wonder, why should I even care.
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