We did not talk about any dorm stuff. Instead, we just bonded. As the weeks go
by, each week or every two weeks I try to maintain that relationship with my
RA’s by having an outing with just the four of us unrelated to dorm life. As a
result, my RA’s are close to each other as well as with me. Our meetings are
comfortable and fun. Even through hard times, we can easily serve each other
better because we have a bond. On an even more important level, a RD’s most
important job is to know the residents. Right from the start, I tried to learn
resident’s names as best as I could. One of my main priorities is to stay up on
my resident’s lives. I do this by spending time with them. We do everything from
workout, eat in the dining hall, eat out, go on outings, hang out at unofficial
parties at midnight, etc. Many times, I spend hours just talking in the hallways
about my girls’ lives. I also do this through my RA’s since they have even
closer relationships with the girls. Each week, in our RA meeting, each of my
RA’s spend a portion of time talking about their residents. They talk about
discipline problems, deaths, upcoming tests, engagements, hard times, good
times, etc. I usually want to know anything they can tell me about anybody. If
it is a big deal to the girls, it is a big deal to me. Through this great time
of leadership lessons, I have come to realize some things the hard way while
other things came more natural. My strength, surprisingly, is organization.
Before school started I organized my office, my apartment, and my life in
general. I have methods to everything I can think of. I developed written vacuum
policies, curfew violation policies, and other policies. I have a place for
everything in my office. I have files for each of my residents, files for forms,
files for memos, files for outings, and the list goes on. I have a method and
place for sorting curfew violations, reporting maintenance requests, making
bulletin boards, etc. On the other hand, I have had many struggles with being a
leader.
One of my greatest struggles has been how to deal with different people
and their leadership styles. I am the type of person who needs a lot of
feedback. I want to know if I am doing good or bad. I want clearly defined
definitions of my job description so I will know exactly how to meet those
expectations. Unfortunately, I work with a person who is not like me in this
area. Even I cannot give you an exact job description for myself although I have
tried. Tony likes me to figure things out for myself. Many times he wants me to
tell him what I am going to do and how I am going to do it. Sometimes I get
frustrated never knowing exactly what I am supposed to be doing, but in the long
run I have grown. Tony has pushed me to think for myself. I am not just
following a bunch of already set rules. Instead, I am encouraged to plan for
myself. I have to be innovative and have the follow-through to carry things out.
Other struggles occur when I have to deal with discipline problems. I have to
learn my boundaries between being a RD, being a friend, and being a student.
Those boundaries often get blurred. Often I hang out with someone one night, and
the next night I have to confront him or her about some wrong action they have
taken. Confrontation is hard for me too, but I am getting better! Reflecting on
my purpose for becoming a RD, my leadership philosophy, my challenges and my
strengths lead me to some important conclusions. One is that I always have to
keep the vision of my organization before me. Sometimes, I get bogged down by
the stress of school and my job, and I forget to lift up my head long enough to
see why I am doing what I do. I do it because I love the girls. I do the job
because I love helping people in the community. I do the job to serve God, my
RA’s and the residents.
Also, seeing how my philosophy has changed and seeing
that the challenges are what make me change helps me to persevere through the
tough times. I know that dealing with different leadership styles can be
challenging, but I also know that I am learning to be more innovative, to have
more confidence in myself, and to take the initiative. I know learning
boundaries between my roles is hard, but I know that these experiences will not
be the only time I will have to learn to separate my roles. I am so thankful for
all I am learning. Just knowing these things makes me a better leader.
Bibliography
20/f College student
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