Then, there was yet another reading, this time from
Luke, but again regarding Armageddon. Then came the Sermon, which was both the
most familiar part of the service, but also the strangest. The preacher (again,
I don’t know what to call him) addressed the congregation in a congenial tone
from a pulpit that, although raised, was not too dissimilar from those I had
seen before. He began with a description of the events that are to accompany the
end of the world, as found in Revelations and other books of the Bible.
Preparing for the Rapture, the Second Coming, and Armageddon is a big part of
the churches I had attended in the past, so this was friendly ground. Then, he
began finding parallels in scientific theories. The big bang and universal
contraction were addressed, and he put all the millennial predictions into
scientific perspective. Both the churches I am familiar with believe in literal
interpretation of the Bible, and they would have found this dilution of God’s
supposed Earthly reign absolutely blasphemous. The congregation, choir, and
officials began a series of prayers at this point. The first was sung by all,
with accompaniment by the organ. Then came two prayers led by the officials in a
spoken form. Concluding this section of the service was a ritual in which the
congregation turn to one another, shake hands, and say Peace, like they’re some
kind of holdover sixties hippie dirt merchants. The first part of the next
section was the Offertory Anthem, which was performed by choir and organ, with
some of the high notes sounding like badly synthesized trumpets. It began
somewhat somberly, but the second verse was decidedly uptempo and joyous. Of
course, it should sound joyous when your trying to convince people that they
need to tithe 10%, and you want them to drop their hard earned cash into a
jewel-encrusted gold plate. Next came another recitative prayer, sung solo by
someone I couldn’t quite see from my seat.
From this point until people began
taking communion, I became fairly badly lost. The prayers and hymns alternated
fairly regularly between recitative style, choir pieces, and those performed by
all, with one call and response section in the middle. After people had eaten
their oh-so-holy crackers, another thing my grandmother would have been
flabbergasted to see, the choir produced the Communion Sentence, which also had
a very fugal feel. The service began to draw gradually to a close at this point.
I think we studied motets in this class, and that’s great because that’s exactly
what the choir and organ performed next. It was very upbeat and more
happy-sounding than anything since the Offertory had been. The Post-Communion
Prayer was accompanied by organ, as was the Blessing and Dismissal. Everyone
sang along with the Organ on the last hymn. Then, the organ played another slasher tune to mark the Postlude, and the cultish figures in robes made some
more laps around the sanctuary and vanished out a side door. As they passed
people started breaking for the door, before the organ had even stopped moaning.
I stuck around until the final chords had been ground out and the candles had
been extinguished, then I tried to gracefully leave, and was only mildly rude to
the guy in a robe and a hat with a topknot standing outside who kept asking if I
was going to come back next week.
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