Throughout The Confessions, love and wisdom, the desire to love and be
loved, and his love for his concubine, are all driving forces for Augustine’s
desire to find peace in God. The death of his friend upsets him deeply, but also
allows him to pursue God to become a faithful Christian. Augustine often
experiences darkness, blindness, and confusion while attempting to find rest in
God, but he knows that when he eventually finds him his restless heart will be
saved. Augustine started out in childhood with a restless heart because he had
to live in two different worlds. These worlds consisted of that of his mother’s
religious faith, and the world of everything else. These two worlds confused and
disturbed Augustine as a child. In his mother’s world, talk consisted of Christ
the Savior and about the mighty god who helps us especially to go to heaven. In
the other world, talk was about achieving. It seems as if Augustine felt that if
he were to live in both of these worlds, his life would turn out to be nothing.
He believed he would not accomplish anything he would be remembered for. He
became unhappy with the idea of his life amounting to nothing. This is why
Augustine turned to love. He felt that love might help him have a direct purpose
in life and would help him through his conversion.
Love should not be that of
evil. Saint Augustine searched for the answer of a question that asked if love
reaches out hopelessly and harmfully, how can it turn around to be productive
and wholesome to the human soul? Love became a necessity for all people. For
Augustine, the answer to this question was love. The first love must be for the
love of God in Augustine’s mind. It must come before all other forms of love.
Augustine states that, “The thought of you stirs him so deeply that he cannot be
content unless he praises you, because you made us for yourself and our hearts
find no peace until they rest in you” (I, 1). Augustine talks of many different
forms of love. Another form that he talks about and demonstrates many times in
The Confessions is the desire to love and to be loved.
Words: 1988
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