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Unfortunately in some marriages this love may not be pure or strong enough so
some marriages do break down. There are many causes responsible for the
breakdown of marriages. ‘We must reach out with love- the love of Christ- to
those who know the pain of failure in marriage; to those who know the loneliness
of bringing up a family on their own; to those whose family life is dominated by
tragedy or by illness of mind or body.’(Pope John Paul-in York on May 31st 1982)
The main causes of marriage breakdown are: Failure- meaning breakdown in
communication caused by selfishness, argument, neglect, resentment etc. Tragedy-
accidents or sudden death, loss of income, redundancy, unemployment etc.
Illness- when one partner may become a real burden to the other, either
physically or mentally. All of the above cause great strain on even the
strongest of marriages when this strain becomes unbearable a divorce is usually
carried out where both partners split up. Britain has the highest divorce rate
in Western Europe. Most divorces occur due to, finance, lack of companionship,
false hopes, human nature and children. In 1857 a divorce could be obtained by a
man if he could prove his wife had been unfaithful. By 1937 desertion and
insanity were grounds for divorce also. In 1966 a report from the Church of
England stated that divorce should be allowed for the breakdown of marriage.
In 1969 came the Divorce Act, some people felt that this made divorce to easy
but many divorces had occurred before 1969, they had just not been legally
dissolved. As a result many young people have suffered the trauma of seeing
their parents divorce. As the idea of a family has been attacked society has
become increasingly violent and immoral. Others say that a great deal of pain
has been indured by couples staying together for the children. Whatever the
rights and wrongs of this argument the Christian Churches have to deal with
divorce, *on the one hand they feel that they have to uphold the sanctity of
marriage as this is expressed in the Bible *on the other hand they know that
they need love, support and care for the people who have been divorced.
The Divorce Act allows a divorce to be granted if it can be shown that the
marriage has suffered an ‘irretrievable breakdown’. For example, if the couple
have been living apart for two years, if adultery has occurred or if there has
been ‘unreasonable behaviour’ A number of organizations exist to help couples
who are experiencing difficulties in their marriage. Two of them are Relate and
the Catholic Marriage Advisory Council. Relate- Began in the 1940’s. It is a
charity which depends on clients for financial support. Its marriage counselors
are volunteers who undergo two years of training.
Relate provides help for people in a number of ways: *by providing
counselling to those experiencing specific problems *by providing counselling to
help those who have lost a partner due to death etc. *helping couples enhance
their relationship *offering education services CMAC- Catholic Marriage Advisory
Council is the largest counselling service in the U.K. CMAC offers: *marriage
guidance counselling with trained counsellors *an education service *help for
couple who want to know more about natural family planning *research into the
ways marriages can be sustained and enriched. In the bible it says: ‘Suppose a
man marries a woman and later decides that he doesn’t want her because she is
guilty of some shameful act.
So he writes out divorce papers, gives them to her and sends her away from
his home.’(Old Testament, Deuteronomy 24:1) and ‘For married people I have a
command which is not my own but the Lord’s: a wife must not leave her husband;
but if she does, she must remain single or else be reconciled to her husband:
and a husband must not divorce his wife.’(1 Corinthians 7:ten-one1) ‘Man must not
separate......what God has joined together.’(Jesus, in Mk 10:9) ‘I tell you that
anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries
another woman, commits adultery.’(Jesus in Matthew 19:8-9)
The Catholic Church teaches that a marriage between two baptized couples is a
sacrament and cannot be dissolved. If the marriage involves one partner who is
not baptised then the marriage can be dissolved but only under serious
circumstances. The Catholic Church can also annul a marriage if there is a lack
of consent, lack of judgment, an inability to carry out the duties of the
marriage and a lack of intention. ‘Every man should have his own wife, and every
woman should have her own husband. A man should fulfill his duty as a husband
and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife.’ (1 Corinthians 7:2-4) By Warren
O'Connell Form 4
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