Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence in America Introduction: Today in American society we have
many social ills. Perhaps one of the most upsetting, at least to me personally,
is domestic violence. Domestic violence can come in many shapes and forms and
affects many different people. Reasons vary for spousal/child abuse, but none
are justified. Police/community programs have recently had a more pro-active
role in domestic violence, but that is not a solution to our problem at large.
On the micro level, the ultimate responsibility of elimination of violence rests
on the victim. On the macro level, we must look at our society critically and
analyze why we have such an immense problem and how we can help correct it. In
the following sections I will discuss domestic violence issues and attempt to
offer some solutions. I will frequently use anecdotal evidence, as well as
statistical figures. I assign genders to the abuser and victim using he and she
or husband and wife frequently—this is for simplification. Although most
victimization is male against female, I am generalizing for simplicity.
Discussion: Domestic violence is a prevalent issue in the United States. There
is much controversy as too how much violence actually exists in America (much of
it takes place behind closed doors and is difficult to identify), but assuredly
we have a problem with the issue as it is reported that almost 4% of American
families experienced severe physical violence of a degree that had the
probability of inflicting injury or death upon the victim (stabbed, gun used,
beat up, punched) (www.silcom.com/paladin/madv/faq-dv.html). This 4% may seem
like a small figure, but it equates to four million victims (and that only
includes the major injury-inflicting violence). Another source states that 1 in
3 women will be assaulted by a domestic partner in her lifetime .
Another source indicates that 63% of parents have engaged in violent acts
towards their children (Assaults Against Women and Children, p. 219).
Truly this
issue is unacceptable in a civil society such as ours. Domestic violence, when
most people hear that term, think of husbands assaulting wives. This is an
unfair generalization. Violence is more likely against women than men but
nevertheless women are sometimes the perpetrators. Another fact left in the
corner when discussing domestic violence is how much occurs between high school
boyfriends/girlfriends. Figures indicate that 1 in 10 high school students has
experienced physical violence in dating. The figure rises to 22% for college
students (www.npcts.edu/uo/handson/domviol/statfact.html). Perhaps most
importantly and tragically, children can be affected by domestic violence in
both direct and indirect ways. A clear estimate of abuse is difficult to
determine due to data collection methods and a precise definition of violence
against children, but statistics indicate that up to 3 million children are
abused/neglected each year Of this number, a mere 150,000 cases are reported.
(Don’t Call it Child Abuse, It’s Really Poverty, p. 260). This number is
astronomical and totally unacceptable. Even if children are not directly abused,
many witness their parents abuse each other. As a child I witnessed domestic
violence (fortunately mostly verbal) nightly when I was young. I didn’t
understand why they fought so much and so often. I couldn’t imagine the way I
would have felt had my parents truly injured each other. Most of the time they
broke stuff and yelled and screamed. I remember the only way I could interpret
the situation (like many other kids) was to blame myself. The emotional stress
violence places on kids (even if not directed at them) is a very serious issue.
There are many reasons that spouses choose to beat their wives/children. One
explanation that is popular is that of frustration. The (often) male
authoritarian figure in the household in today’s society is often threatened by
a burden of responsibilities. Even if the wife does work, often the male feels
responsible to be the “breadwinner.” If he is unable to fulfill his role, or if
he feels that the role is threatened, (job problems or wife earning more), he is
likely to become disgruntled. This stressful situation leaves the person feeling
powerless and without control. The one place where he (again, most of the time
it is a male) can have total power and control is at home. When he does arrive
home and the household is not to his liking, violence may erupt due to his
perception of all control in his life lost and a possible build-up of work
related stress. You could call it a sort of catharsis. Another factor which
could increase the likeliness of violence is the use of alcohol/drugs. My
parents used to drink quite heavily. Only then would violence erupt.
Surprisingly, most people elect to stay with their spouse after being abused
(even if it is regular). Some, often like children, blame themselves. One woman
states, “I blamed me, and I still feel sometimes like it was my fault. . .”
(Battered Women: Strategies for Survival, p. 245). Others find that they have no
choice but to stay with their spouse. A traditional one-income family leaves a
woman homemaker (or unskilled woman laborer) little option to leave financially.
Others stay because they think it is best for the kids to maintain the marriage.
Still others, no matter how severe the violence is, think that it will go away.
Most of the time, the violence never goes away completely in a repeatedly
abusive family. Often police are called by a victim or a concerned person that
has suspected violence. In the past, police have more readily dismissed domestic
violence calls and let the involved persons sort their issues out themselves.
Upon impetus from interest groups and community-task forces, many advances have
been made to allow victims opportunities to relieve their situation (at least
temporarily).
An increasing number of police forces have pro-arrest policies for
domestic violence. Some are implementing the technology based intervention of
electronic monitoring to help control abusers (Police Responses to Battered
Women: Past, Present and Future, p. 92). Still, other communities have allocated
many funds to battered women shelters, counseling programs, victim-assistance
programs, and other solutions. Ultimately, it is not the police’s responsibility
to deal with the abuser, it is the victim. The victim needs to escape the
situation through separation. Once a wife-beater, always a wife-beater is what I
say (generally). Conclusion: In the above, I have discussed a few issues
surrounding the domestic violence issue. Volumes could be written about the
prevalence, seriousness, demographics, intervention systems, implications, and
many other topics about the issue. No matter which way you want to look at the
issue, we have a very serious problem. There is no excuse for this social
injustice--especially when you see domestic violence rates on the rise. It
downright appalls me. We must look at our social/political/economic institutions
critically, because assuredly they are the major contributors to our social
problems, including domestic violence. Traditionally in American society, we
have had a patriarchal system. This social construction is a major underlying
mechanism in provoking domestic violence. The patriarchal system relies on the
presumption that the male is the head of the household; assertive and always
right, unconditionally. The woman is the second-in-command; to take the place of
the husband while he is away—but only when he is away.
The woman is expected to
fulfill the mans needs and to support him in whatever he believes and does,
unconditionally. Children are also to be submissive and obey elders without
question—especially their father (I always remember my mother saying, “Don’t you
make me get your father!.” To see the manifestation of this early 20th century
phenomena, we need look no farther than our grandparents. My grandmother (on
either side of the family) never questions my grandfather. She supports him in
every way; seeing to his every need without question or hesitation (I might add
that my grandfather on my mothers side is college educated and my grandmother is
not even high school educated—epitomizing the clash of expectations for
women/men in that era. Today in modern America, however, we can see this system
changing. Women’s rights are increasing constantly. Slowly America is becoming
egalitarian. I still don’t see our domestic violence problem decreasing because
of this social change; obviously since it is on the rise according to
statisticians. I think that the egalitarian (dual-earner) state we are evolving
in is creating more stress than ever for couples. Another major player in the
problem of domestic violence is our fascination with violence in America. Today,
to see death, all you need do is flip on a TV set. Cartoons, that used to depict
comical stories, now depict violent acts (often with blood) with the intent on
competition and winning. Our kids are taught at an early age that violence is
the answer.
Boys especially are influenced by our machismo masculine culture.
Girls are taught to be passive and feminine. As an anecdotal example: throughout
my socialization as a child, it took me a long time to figure out that males
don’t have to be aggressive and domineering to be cool. Constantly I was
bombarded with TV shows depicting the male masculine hero that shoots up the bad
guys and treats the women with utmost assertiveness. Only now can I see the
implications of things like that. The prevalence of domestic violence in America
is out-of-hand. Reasons are many for our problem, but above all, I conceptualize
our socialization of competition/violence and our traditional male patriarchal
philosophies at the root of the problem. On the macro-level, we need to teach
our kids better values and beliefs. If truly we are going to have an egalitarian
system, we need to dispel the notion that females should be fundamentally
different from males in their socialization. Males, to this day, are still
brought up with the implication of a patriarchal system and increasingly are
exposed to violence. With this formula, we can expect to see much more violence
in the future. Looking down on the micro level, the answer is simple: leave the
relationship. Your life is more precious than a relationship.
|
