Spousal Violence
Violence against family members is something women do at least as often as
men. There are dozens of solid scientific studies that reveal in a startlingly
different picture of family violence than what we usually see in the media. For
instance, Murray Straus, a sociologist and co-director for the Family Research
Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire gave some statistics that blew my
mind away. He concluded saying that women were three times more likely than men
to use weapons in spousal violence. He also said that women hit their male
children more than they hit their female children and women commit 52 percent of
spousal killings and are convicted of 41 percent of spousal murders. There are
also some misleading statistics about family violence. One, men do not usually
report their violent wives to police, because they have too much pride. Two is
that children do not usually report their violent mothers to the police. A
reason why we do not see many women get reported is because the media does not
encourage men to report the crime. Women are the ones who are encouraged to
report the spousal violence by countless media reminders. The media always
portray the woman to be the victim and the male to be the perpetrator. Men and
children may not report when a woman injures them, but the dead bodies of the
men and children who are the victims of violent women are usually reported.
There is much confusion about whom to believe in the debate about spousal
violence. On one side we have the women’s feminist groups whom rely on law
enforcement statistics. On the other side we have social scientist who rely on
scientifically structured studies, which do not get any media attention.
America’s press is more concerned with the political correctness than scientific
accuracy. That is why our society is so screwed up now, because of the media. It
is important to note that there have been the same kind of studies done in many
countries.
There is cross-cultural verification that women are more violent than
men in family settings. When behavior has cross-cultural verification it means
that it is part of human nature rather than a result of cultural conditioning.
Females are most often the perpetrators in spousal violence in all cultures that
have been studied to date. That leads many professionals to conclude that there
is something biological about violent females in family situations. Women see
the home as their territory. Like many other species on the planet, we human
will ignore size difference when we experience conflict in our own territory.
World wide, women are more violent than men in family settings. Women usually
initiate spousal abuse. That means they hit first, and women hit more
frequently, as well as using weapons three times more often than men. This
combination of violent acts means that efforts to find solutions to the family
violence problem need to include appropriate focus on female perpetrators. We
need to recognize that women are violent, and we need nationwide educational
programs that portray women are perpetrators. Other studies show that men are
becoming less violent at the same time that women are becoming more violent.
Educating men seems to be working. Educating men seems to be working. Educating
women to be less violent should now be the main thrust of public education
programs. Just as bad cases make bad laws, so can celebrity cases reinforce old
myths. The biggest myth the O.J. Simpson case is likely to reinforce is the myth
that domestic violence is a one way street (male-to-female), and its corollary,
that male violence against women in an outgrowth of masculinity. I felt violence
was an out growth of masculinity. But, men are responsible for most of the
violence, which occurs outside the home. However, when 54 percent of women in
lesbian relationships acknowledge violence in their current relationship, vs.
only 11 percent of heterosexual couples reporting violence, I realize that
domestic violence is not an outgrowth of male biology. There are some good men
out there that will not hit back no matter what the woman does. This is an
article that appeared in the April 20, 1997 edition of the Detroit News: He
never hit back -- and he never filed charges. But more shocking to Gillhepsy are
the reactions she encountered telling her story.
They told me I was the victim,
said Gillhespy, 34, of Marquette. Here's no way any of this was his fault. ... I
knew the difference between being the victim and being the perpetrator. I am
ashamed for what I did. Gillhespy believes most people don't believe men can be
victims. She knows they are wrong. I think it is just as serious as (violence
against women) -- you just don't hear about it, Gillhespy says. Maybe more men
would come forward if you did. Gillhespy, who wed at 16, says she began beating
her husband early in their 16-year marriage. Her former husband, reached by
phone, declined to comment but confirmed that abuse took place. At the time,
Gillhespy was a crack user, heroin addict and alcoholic. She says she beat her
husband in fits of rage, usually when she wanted money or the car. I told him he
was no good, and that he was loser. I kicked him and threw things at him, she
says. I used him and used him and used him. The turning point came in February
1993, when Gillhespy struck two pregnant women in Grand Rapids while driving
drunk. Gillhespy received 45 days in jail and was sent to a drug treatment
program in Marquette. She has gotten a divorce, finished high school and stayed
sober. In a year, she will receive a degree from Northern Michigan University.
And although Gillhespy now understands the issues that led her to violence, she
says she accepts full responsibility for her actions. Her strength, she says,
comes from admitting that she had a problem -- and from trying to help others
accept that domestic violence goes both ways. I'm the other side of the coin,
she says simply. If you're abused, you're abused. Strange as it sounds, some
people fear that publishing a study about battered men might shift much-needed
attention away from the abuse of women, the scope of which researchers agree is
underestimated. But at least there have been attempts to document the battered
woman problem. For instance, a new Johns Hopkins University survey of 3,400
women published in this week’s JAMA finds that nearly four in 10 women surveyed
in emergency rooms say they’ve been physically or emotionally abused in their
lifetimes.
Numbers like that are rare when it comes to abused men. In fact, many
people believe that battered husbands are practically nonexistent. Or they
believe that they’re such a minute fraction, compared to the numbers of battered
women, that they don’t represent a trend that needs attention. But family
violence expert Murray Straus says that abused men do exist, in higher numbers
than we care to acknowledge. “I’ve interviewed guys who have been stabbed by
their wives,” says Straus. “One guy had his teeth knocked out when his
girlfriend threw a brass crucifix at his face. But when you ask them if they
were being beaten, they say no.” Straus, director of the University of New
Hampshire Family Research Laboratory, is one of a smattering of scientists in
this country studying domestic violence as a human phenomenon, rather than
focusing on the female as victim. In 1985, Straus and colleagues Richard Gelles
and Suzanne Steinmetz reported a groundbreaking study of 6,000 Americans that
contradicted conventional wisdom about domestic abuse. They found that 12
percent of men—and 11.6 percent of women—reported having hit, slapped or kicked
their partners. Contrary to the common preconception that women hit back only in
self-defense, the survey also found that women initiated the violence just as
often as men. Nonetheless, Straus points out, the men’s injuries generally
weren’t as severe as the women’s injuries. “Women are overwhelmingly the
‘victim,’ he says. “They are injured more and are afraid for their lives more
often. We don’t need shelters for battered men, but if we ever want to stop this
cycle of abuse in families, it requires nonviolence by all parties.” Such talk
is feverishly contested by women’s advocates, who point to criminal statistics
that paint men as the typical perpetrators of domestic abuse.
Jacquelyn
Campbell, Johns Hopkins University nursing professor and lead author of the
violence against females survey in this week’s JAMA, points out one of these
statistics: For every man battered by a female partner, eight women are battered
by male partners. Why such a massive discrepancy in the stats? Patricia Pearson,
author of When She Was Bad: Violent Women and the Myth of Innocence, explains it
this way: “When battered women’s activists talk about abuse, they focus on the
most extreme statistics, the 3 to 4 percent of domestic violence in which women
are beaten severely.” Doing that gives us a skewed view of what’s really going
on in families, Pearson says. “We need to realize women are capable of physical
aggression,” she says. “It’s not just a masculine trait.” Despite more than 100
epidemiological studies demonstrating the existence of female aggression against
men, no major government research arm has ever looked at the pattern. But as
Pearson points out, the fastest growing group of violent criminal offenders
today is teen girls. Given that, the time to study “battered men’s syndrome” may
have finally arrived. Even though the statistics are shown here in this paper,
people still will never believe that men get more abused than women. There
probably will never be media coverage of such things, because the media has
influenced the society so much in regard to women being the victim and the man
being the abuser that people would not take a case seriously if the man was the
victim. People would laugh or make fun of the individual and that would make
other men scared to come forth. This problem must cease. . .
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